RelationshipsYou can understand others, by understanding yourself more
Isn’t it wonderful to be in love? We have those lovely heady days where you think of them 24/7 and your tummy does a flip every time they text you. Eventually you settle in to your relationship and it becomes like a comfortable old pair of slippers type feeling. You know they will always be there for you at the end of a hard day, comforting you and supporting you as they listen to you. They make you a lovely cuppa and tell you to sit down and not to worry. They reassure you with hugs and tell you that that will help you and to just relax and know that they will look after you. They feel so much love for you and you feel the same for them. Life is wonderful as you celebrate every anniversary with renewed freshness and even more love for each other. You both feel so blessed that you are both so happy and life is good. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Now as we remove those rose tinted glasses we can look at the unrequited love, the love affair, the drunk, the abuser, the tormenter.
Unrequited love is so hard. The relationship is one-sided. How can this person not love me back when I love them so much it hurts? You shower them with gifts and messages. You would catch a grenade for them. This love turns into obsession and jealousy. You may even stalk them on social media.
The love affair happens and you can’t believe it. How could they!? But if you are brutally honest with yourself you do know deep down inside there were problems with your relationship, right?
The drunk. This person has a relationship with a bottle. With this person you have to realise it’s them that have the demons to deal with not you. You can try and drag them out of the bottom of the bottle but they have to deal with their issues, and their emotions that put them there in the first place. If they choose to do this, then you can help and support them.
The abuser. Sometimes the abused become the abuser. It’s then your choice if you want to stay in this destructive relationship. You can say you love them but question your self-esteem and your self-worth. Abusers are usually highly controlling and manipulative and you may spend years being manipulated until you realise you lost YOU a long time ago.
The tormenter. This relationship comes down to their insecurity. They hurt you. It may not be in a physical manner. Some of the worse torture is emotional. If you become strong enough to say you are leaving them they may use words like “If you leave, I’ll kill myself”.
All of the above may make you ask the question how can an angel break my heart? Because when they are good, they are fantastic, very loving and attentive and I know deep down they really do love me. But, and it’s a big BUT, when they are not how does that make you feel? Do you feel loved? Supported? Wanted? Worthy? Or are you becoming so drained it’s making you ill?
Hypnotherapy can help you connect with the YOU, you lost along the way. I will support you. I can’t promise I will take your problems away, but you will no longer have to face them alone. I will help you recognise the flaws in your past and present relationships. Your self-worth and confidence will be boosted and you will come to know that you can find someone to love you just as much as you love them. How great will that feel?
Why not make this the year that you find your inner strength to let go and find the love and happiness that you deserve? You are worth it. If you have taken the decision to have therapy, you have decided to change the way you feel about your problem. It’s not what has happened to you, it’s the way it makes you feel. If you have lived with your problem for years why hold on to it any longer?
If you feel you are ready to let go and reconnect with the happy, strong, powerful, confident you, then please give me a call and find out how hypnotherapy can help you.
How counselling and hypnotherapy can help you
As human beings we don’t really like change. We like routines and when we have routine we feel able to cope. When life changes happen such as a death of a parent or a divorce you may still be able to cope. If you could anticipate them happening you feel more in control. But if things as they sometimes do, happen one after the other you may feel totally out of your depth and feel anxious. This is when extra support can be of huge benefit to you. Making you realise that perhaps there is nothing you can do to change things and help calm you and give you the courage to move forward and focus on your future and where you want to go and be who you want to be.
Together we can work out what is in your control and what power you have to accept and make those changes for you.
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